“Just write SOMETHING damn-it!” I tell myself, exasperated.
Ever feel like you have a greater calling; some purpose yet undiscovered; that “thing” inside you that aches to get out, but you cannot figure out what that “thing” actually is; or worse yet, DO figure it out, but then struggle to express it?
I don’t have that problem!
My problem was not that my “thing” was undiscovered, or that I “struggled” to get it out; my “thing” was a pervasive writer’s block; but a block with a strange twist…
I can think of a hundred things to write about, pouring out thoughts and words much as an old man tossing birdseed in the park… my problem stemmed from not being able to decide which idea to start with!
The “block” part fed from this “problem” (some writers would kill to have my problem), insomuch as I have so much I want to write about, my indecision prevented me from picking one topic and even starting!
So I told myself to, “Just start writing something!” Listening to my inner voice, I discovered that once started, that “something” I began writing, became “something else”; something tangible, with form and flow.
I have since taken to opening a new file each and every time a new idea hits me (If I’m out, then I record it in my ever present notebook). Once the first line is dropped onto the clear white pages, like a splash of ink draws your attention to it, the words seem to flow as water pouring from a broken pipe… I cannot stop them… I can only race frantically in an effort to capture as many as I can in my bucket, my pages, before they flow over the edges and are gone, perhaps forever!
Gone are the days wherein I couldn’t think of what to write about; materializing in the form of frustration as I sat at my desk, chin in hands, elbows on desktop (real desktop ;-); watching TV, while silently cursing myself for not doing what I knew I should be doing; my brain yelling “Just write SOMETHING damn-it!”.
Y’see, my blog site holds only a fraction of my writing. I use it to toss out little snippets of samples here and there as I get it started, (my blog is still very new)… Maybe I’ll share my thoughts on an issue of the day; maybe a how-to item, whatever I’m in the mood to share.
My real work as a writer however, I do for me and my kids…
Sounds crazy I know… a closet writer who writes in secret; Is it any wonder you haven’t heard of me?
It’s similar to my music; when I play the bagpipes, I don’t particularly like an audience… I play them for me, making all the funky faces just as a blues guitar player does… It’s just another expression of who I am. Who would play the bagpipes while expecting privacy? Writing for me is the same… I “need” to write… it’s “in” me, aching to get out… and this website, with all the dust bunnies blowing through its thus far empty halls, with the sound of my keyboard echoing off its spartan pages; is a reflection of this; another expression of that desire to write.
I know many other writers blog sites may showcase their work far better than mine does; C’est La Vie. I’ll get there eventually with my web site, and it’ll be a “Grand Affair”; showing off my work like a debutante’s ball (although take note, I’m not a girl ;-).
But back to the internal conflict though, which led to my opening sentence.
This blog page…
While I have a lot of short stories, poems, articles and an almost complete 1st draft of my very first novel, what do I blog about that would be considered interesting?
SO, now I’m back to square one again; I can hear the echo’s reverberating in the distant recesses of my mind…
“Just blog about SOMETHING damn-it!”